What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?
There are 10 kinds of people in this world...
Those who know Binary, and those who don't
The square root of negative 1 (-1) and Pie are having an argument. After much fighting, the square root of negative one shouts at pie - "Please! Would you just be reasonable!" Pie responds "Tch, get real!"
What did the pirate say when he got the steering wheel stuck down his pants?
"ARR! It's drivin' me nuts!" (Funnier if said in a pirate accent)
There's this pirate and he's walking around with this paper hat on his head, so I ask him "Hey, what's with the hat?"
"Arr, I've... I've got a bounty on me head"
Why don't dinosaurs talk?
Because they're DEAD!
One atom says to another atom "Holy crap, I just lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
Two fish are in a tank. One fish says to the other fish
"Do you know how to drive this think?"
How do you fit 5 Bulbasour’s and 2 Charzard’s on a bus?
You poke 'em on
What's the different between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?
One goes Wrack! "Darn!" and the other goes "Darn!" Wrack!
"I tried to built an irony detector but the darn thing just won't work!"
"Why? What's wrong with it?"
"Well, it detects everything except irony..."
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white...
A penguin rolling down a hill
What's black and white and laughing?
The penguin who pushed him
After giving up on being a nanny, Marry Popins moved to Beverly Hills and became a fortune teller and she reads your future not by looking at the lines on your hand but by smelling your breath!!!
They call it the SuperCaliforniaMysticExpertHalitosis
Did you hear about the red ship and blue the ship that collided?
All of the sailors were marooned!
If I have one little green ball in one hand, and another little green ball in the other hand, what do I have?
The undivided attention of a leprecaun
All of these are short, and I grabbed 'em from 2 videos (Each with 50 jokes in 4 mins xP) but you want to post more long winded jokes here, go ahead
I like them more, because the punch lines are always great. Anyway, feel free to post anything that comes to mind. I think I'll so no to racist jokes (To be on the safe side) but yes to sex jokes (Unless someone doesn't like them, in which case speak up!)
Post your jokes now!!! ^^